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1. Understand Others include:
a. Listen
Listening is the process of capturing the meaning of the sounds we hear, not just hear the sound, and eventually released again.
Active Vs Passive Listening
Passively listening, putting ourselves as the recorder (recorder). All the words entered into the memory (which is important and which are not), so we can not tell the difference. We remember what he said, but did not understand what it means.
Active listening, requires us to be able to put themselves as a party to convey the message (empathy). We have to concentrate and to understand fully the content of the proposed speaker.

Reason listening namely:
1. To understand and obtain information.
The person who controls the information has a greater chance for success, both personally and in a professional context, because, in the present era, controls the information means control of resources.
2. Analysis of the quality of the information.
Listen and get more information would improve the quality of the received message, completeness of data, and the ability to process information, so that the conclusions or analysis of a condition or state can be taken.
3. Build and maintain relationships.
The reason for listening is to conduct interpersonal communication. Many surveys have shown that people who have the ability to listen effectively / well, have a deeper relationship baiik with each other, otherwise they are less able to hear will worsen the relationship, or at least not be able to build a better relationship (Kaufgmann, 1993).
4. Helping others.
Must have the ability to listen in order to understand other people and, ultimately, can help others. Some professions make listening skills as a must-have to be able to help the client, for example, the medical profession, lawyers, psychologists, teachers or others. But not limited to professionals, everyone can also provide assistance to others, because it takes just the ability to listen well and effectively.
5. Giving feedback

Listeners Effective:
1. Eye contact
2. A nod of the head and face express attentive
3. Prevent movement or action that negative impression
4. Ask questions
5. Describe what is heard in their own words
6. Avoid interruptions or interrupting
7. Do not talk too much

1) Eye Contact
How do you feel when you see the person you are talking to does not see, but look elsewhere ?. Like many others, you would interprets that the person may not be interested in what you are talking about. You listen with your ears, but others judge whether you listen or not, by looking at your eyes.
2) Express nod and attentive faces
Effective listener of interest in what is being spoken of others by providing a "nonverbal". Nodded, frowning, laughing when the speaker tried to humor, shifting the sitting position toward the speaker, and so forth.

3) Prevent action or movement Memorable negative
When you're listening to the speech of others, do not be too often seen or glanced at the clock, play pencils, flipping pages in a book, or do something that is not related to the content of the conversation. These actions suggest that you are bored or not interested in what is being expressed by the speaker.
4) Ask Questions
Listeners are critically analyze what he listens to, and then ask questions that are relevant. This behavior gives confidence to the speaker that you are really listening.
5) Describe what is heard with words - his own words
For example: "You say ... .. (the speaker's words)" "What that means is ...... .. (your own words)?" There are two reasons this behavior is displayed.
First: as a sign that you pay close attention to the content of the conversation.
Second: as a sign that you want do not let one interprets the words of the speaker.
6) Avoid interrupting or interrupting
Give the opportunity for the speaker to finish the contents of the conversation. After that you may ask questions or provide comments. Make it a habit to be patient to listen to the speech of others.

b. Provide feedback
Every form of communication to a person with the aim that the people know the impact of his behavior towards you or others.
Some types of responses in listening, based on the level of quality, can be explained as follows:
1. Listen to the silence.
Many reasons for not saying anything when listening to, among others, may we not iingin talks continue or bored because they listen to the story repeatedly. In the above circumstances, the best response is indeed silent, because if we give a verbal response, the speaker will be encouraged to continue.
2. Asking questions.
Some of the reasons for asking questions such as:
a. To clarify the meaning
b. To get the concepts, feelings, desires others
c. To encourage further talk
d. To encourage further search.
3. Prepare a statement.
Make a statement is to restate the message received by using his own words. Reiterates the message that we have received not by repeating what was said, but rather to restate what we think about the messages that we receive by using their own words, as a way to convince the meaning of the messages we receive.
a. Expressed empathy
Expressed empathy is the type of giving feedback that is used by listeners to declare its existence, showing feelings, states of perception or attention to what is conveyed by the giver message.
b. Give support
Response to provide support is expressing solidarity with listeners to the situation faced by the speaker.
c. Perform analysis
d. To evaluate
e. Pass judgment

c. Empathy (empathy):
Henry Backrack (1976) defines empathy as "a person's ability to 'know' what's happened to someone else at a certain moment, from the perspective of another person, through the eyes of others it is." Sympathy, on the other hand is to feel for others or feel sorry to. While empathy is felt something like those affected, are in the same boat and felt the same feelings in the same way.
Empathetic people are able to understand the motivation and experiences of others, their feelings and attitudes, as well as their hopes and desires for the future.
Empathy we can communicate both verbally and non-verbally. Nonverbally, we can communicate empathy by showing (1) the active involvement with that person through facial expressions and gestures appropriate; (2) centralized concentration include eye contact, posture attentive, and physical proximity; and (3) touch or caress proper.
d. Attribution
Attribution is the processes for identifying the causes of the behavior of others and then is known about the properties of settled and their disposition (Baron and Byrne, 2003: 49). Attribution can also be interpreted with our efforts to understand the causes behind the behavior of others, and in some cases also the cause of our own behavior. To know about the people around us can be through some kind of way:
1. Seeing what looked (physical). For example, how to dress, how to look themselves.
2. Inquire directly to the person concerned, for example, about thinking, about the motive.
3. From the behavior in question. This is an important resource.

Wide Attribution

According to Heider (in Sarlito Wirawan, 1999: 102), Attribution can be distinguished:
1. Internal Attribution
If a person's behavior is observed due to internal factors, such as attitudes, certain properties, or the internal aspects of the others. For example, if children obtain the value of report cards are bad, then why could be because the child was lazy, too much play, or stupid.

2. External Attribution
Jka social behavior are observed due to circumstances or environment outside of the person concerned. For example, if children obtain the value of report cards are bad, then why could be because of a problem with his environment, his parents divorced, poor relationships with parents, pressured by friends, or teachers who are not attractive.

2. Expressing thoughts and feelings with Clear
Is assertive assertiveness, courage seklaigus of expression while respecting and sensitive to the needs of others, so as to find a compromise that is mutually beneficial.

According to Steve (2000), the ability assertive includes three basic components:
a. The ability to express feelings (for example, to express feelings of anger, sadness, warm, etc.).
b. The ability to express beliefs and thoughts openly (able to voice opinions, express disapproval and be firm, although it is emotionally difficult to do this and even though may not have to sacrifice something.
c. Ability to defend the rights of private (do not let others interfere and take advantage of us).
Sugiyo (2005), explains that the firmness is a form of behavior and attitude of someone who shows some attitude such as:
a. Behavior that makes individuals able to act in its own way but also not shut yourself off from the advice of others who make diriya better.
b. Able to voice their rights without offending others.
c. Confidence, express themselves spontaneously (thoughts and feelings), much sought after and admired by others.
According to Corey (2007), with the ability assertive will help people who are experiencing problems as follows:
a. People who are not able to express anger or displeasure.
b. People who show excessive politeness and always encourage others to get ahead.
c. People who have difficulty saying "no".
d. People who find it difficult to express affection and positive responses.
e. People who feel no right to own feelings and his own thoughts.

Based on research Schimmel, (MONE 2008), suggesting that some kind of assertive behavior that need to be trained:
a. Dare to express opinions, requests, preferences, etc., which makes a person respected as equal human beings with other human beings.
b. Expressing negative emotions (grievance, resentment, criticism, disapproval, feeling depressed, need to be left alone) and deny the request.
c. Showing positive emotions (happy, appreciate, like someone, feel attracted), give praise, and received praise by saying "thank you".
d. Initiate, execute, modify, or terminate the conversation fun, share your feelings, opinions, and experiences with others.
e. Overcome offense before increasing anger and explode into aggression.

3. Affirm Need Kita
4. Influencing Others (Persuasion)
5. Giving and Receiving Feedback
6. Resolving Conflicts
7. Working with Others